09.18.02 - 6:53 p.m.

Guilty. I haven't yet purchased a Scary Go Round shirt. Even though it has my sister's likeness, I prefer her handmade "it's an ugly bug. yaum. yaum. yaum." shirt she made for me in ninth grade. I always thought the ugly bug on the front had ten legs until Dave astutely pointed out a few weeks ago that two of the 'legs' are in fact antennae. So I guess the ugly bug in question is a spider. Good job, Bassie! He is our hero. Must! Stop!

Today I called various people in various wholesome, craft-making parts of the country and tried to persuade them to send us high-res jpegs of their wares. Quel chore. These are people who handsew herbal sachets and cook homemade jams and syrups. They have no freakin clue what a jpeg is, much less one that is at least 255 dpi. Still, I think some product samples may be coming my way, now that I've plied a few folk with our Fed Ex account number so nothing would be on their dime. Hi, we'd like to give your Black Honey Tea Gift Set a free plug in our magazine. Mail it to us and we'll pay. We need it by tomorrow. BUT WE'LL PAY. How difficult is that?

The Lillian Vernon woman loves me, though. Gettin' in good with the makers of personalized craft fun for Middle America.

And I do believe I was voted best-dressed by nearly everyone in the office today. I also believe I was deemed most shoe-obsessed, at least by the copy department, who want to know exactly how many pairs of shoes I own and how many of those are not practical (i.e., trainers, hiking boots). Sad to say, my New Balance(s?) give me worse blisters than my 3" mules. I've trained my leg muscles to work in unnatural ways.

So now I'm off to count my shoes and curse Dan for making me run for the house phone, which I never answer, smacking my thigh into the arm of the couch on the way. Fucker! There will be a nicely gangrenous bruise there tomorrow. Now he has no choice but to make me sloppy joes for dinner as penance. Or maybe I'll eat tuna fish in bed while he sleeps. The possibilities!