10.23.02 - 6:06 p.m.

Why would calamine lotion clear up zits? Why does mustard cure indigestion? These are the all-important questions I struggle to answer each working day of my life.

Yet this is the most important thing I learned today: heifer.org. A catalog and website (yes, I'm aware the AP stylebook would frown on me for spelling it that way) devoted to the "purchase" of livestock. You donate money to buy shares of animals, which are then sent to communities where they are needed for food. Chickens provide both eggs and their own feathery bodies. Sheep give both mutton and wool. It's a noble idea that I also find incredibly amusing. But I haven't even told you the best part. . .you can buy a llama. One share - only $20! One entire llama? The bargain price of $150!

Things are just oozing out from under my desk. A shower caddy, a yoga mat, piles of books I'd like to take to the new apartment but am waiting for an invitation from the Queen, I suppose. I am disorganized. I am a mess.

A pen just exploded in my pen cup. Somehow you'd think I'd have a smart solution for that.