05.22.03 - 5:58 p.m.

I think I'm having a nervous breakdown. Again. I know I say this a lot but this time I really think it's happening. I have a problem finishing any of my duties at work. I'm not sure I even care about this promotion anymore. Things are happening and changing hourly and I'm not sure I want to be a part of any of it.

I figure I have two options: find a job I completely love and would have no problem devoting twelve-hour days to, or find a job I could fucking care less about but could do an excellent job phoning it in. I either need to completely care or not care at all. Not this "I should care and this is what I should be passionate about so I will continue to suffer for it even though I hate being here with every fiber of my being."

I'm not explaining myself well at all. Overly sensitive would be the way to describe it, I suppose. Fuck this. I'm going to the fucking Cape where I will have to socialize and be in a good mood and not grump around and hide under a blanket all weekend. But there will apparently be beer and ice cream. Not sure it is worth it, but not like I have a choice in the matter. Everyone will be well aware that Dan has a psychotic girlfriend if I don't show.

La la. Maybe I can feign sickness and just sleep.