08.19.03 - 5:44 p.m.

So did everyone see my little Kitchenaid tangerine Mixmaster making a cameo on Sex and the City Sunday? It was sitting proudly at the counter while Carrie fulfilled her gift registry obligations. It is such a stah.

A response to Simon Dumenco's Queer Eye piece in New York, wherein he accuses the show of being nothing more than an hour-long commercial: He does make a few good points. Maybe it is an inflated infomercial, and I have no idea if it's landmark gay TV or not, but there are still good lessons to be found in between the Fab Five's wisecrackin'! I know a few guys who could benefit from a good trip to Crate and Barrel, or even to Bed, Bath and Beyond. (Matt, honey, have you done anything with that shower curtain yet?) It's not a blatant endorsement of consumerism if there is a genuine NEED for new things to be purchased. It's in the same vein as men not getting rid of that one, nasty, holey college T. Going out and buying a new one doesn't make you a slave to the plastic. No one wants to see your holey armpits. (Or moldy tub. Or leftover pizza.) There's a need.

I had a well-developed rant about registries and forced gift-giving, also related to SATC, but I forgot it. I like gifts. I sure as hell can't wait for MY registry. I am not so psyched about a bridal shower, but if that's the way to a complete set of All-Clad, then so be it. But if it's not a wedding for one of my nearest and dearest, forget about it. Case in point: College Acquaintance is definitely getting married in October. We haven't seen her since January, when she told us informally to save the date, blah blah blah.

No cards, no invites have appeared in my mailbox since then. It is now August. Should I be "saving" this date and preparing a way to politely decline this invite if it should come my way? I am not a big fan of the groom and don't think I could make it through that wedding without a perma-sneer. (Their registry, by the way, is vulgar in its display of their ideas of how a young yupster couple should comport itself: Tiffany cut glass vases, etc. Where the hell are you going to put your Tiffany vase in your weeny one-bedroom?)

Fuck 'em. They don't need my money or my presence. It's fine enough to see them out and about, which I never do, but I'm not giving up an October weekend to travel to central PA.