09.23.00 - noon

It's so easy to feel inadequate, desperate, or to spend nights worrying about something that might not be all that wrong. So why does it happen over and over again? Did I really fuck up on my assignment yesterday? Did I not cite sources correctly? Did I forget the 'when'? Does it really matter since it's my first story? They really wouldn't kick me out after a week, would they? Should I just wait till Monday? Or Wednesday?

Why put this pressure on yourself every night of your life -- it's so impossible to please everyone, or to get it all right on your first try. And I can give myself this pep talk all I want, but the truth of it is that I need approval...and on a slightly unrelated note, I guess it's good for myself that I can hope against hope, over and over again. So maybe I am an open person, and MAYBE someday this trait will be appreciated for a little longer than two or three weeks.