10.16.01 - 6:13 p.m.

I can't help it. I can't shake the feeling that I don't really belong. I know what it stems from and why I'm feeling this way, but that doesn't make it any better. It's like I'm expecting all these great things to fall into my lap, because sooner or later that's what happens to me, and this time it's a little more difficult than that. To some extent, the apartment was a lucky shot (even if the price tag is a little high, I did find the business center with high-speed internet and the yoga classes) but it's not like Jane Pratt is going to call me up out of the blue and be like, "I heard you're good. Come be my personal assistant and you can take over for me someday."

But enough of that. Kristen is being more than accommodating about the move, and I couldn't be happier that at least I don't have to deal with soon-to-be-ex-roommate hostility. Yeah, I'd be happy too if someone was giving me all her boxes as she unpacked them (I can't even think about what I'll do next year) but I seriously don't think she's too angry with me being here and all my stuff in the living room. Hooray.

But there are no coffeehouses in the area, at least none within walking distance, which is a complete sadness. How can this be America without a Starbucks on every corner? The Target is in Edgewater, which will be oh so convenient for me and my baby, but the A&P here is kind of ghetto. They didn't even have any frozen limeade - I had to make do with orange-tangerine.

I need a routine. I need some stability. I need a phone call. I need a raincoat.