05.16.02 - 6:41 p.m.

I am going to Florida tomorrow. Land of citrus fruit and grandparents. Possibly I shall never return and will just live off the kindness of my elders until they die.

Here's a thought: Band-aids WORK! I put one over my massive papercut caused by cardboard this morning, and the healing process is going so much faster. I love my Nexcare waterproof bandages.

Escaped from work for lunch (I know, how the hell did I get away with that?) and ate with Erin and Nicole. Feel like a loser once more for my lack of magazine job because I'm not cold-calling or sending out random letters or any of it. These things take TIME, people, and while I have a lot of empty space at work, I can't spread all my stuff out across my desk and advertise the fact that I want to get the hell out of here. Also called to follow up with women's magazine; didn't sound too positive. They have THREE JOBS open! Can I not get at least ONE of them? What is WRONG with me?

Dan - honey - it's not that I'm bored with you, it's that I can't stand anything going on around me. I hate my job. I hate my financial situation. I hate my fucking quarterlife crisis. I need an out. Something. Do you get it? There's so much else going on, I don't want to have to worry about you on top of it. I need positive reinforcement. I need hope and a plan of action. I don't need silence and complacency.