11.10.02 - 1:58 a.m.

Why does no one take me seriously? When I work so hard and I just want everything to be nice and to be right, and no one ever pays attention to me and I feel like I'm fighting every battle by myself. When even my own father belittles me and I am trying so hard and in everyone's eyes I feel like a failure. When I still feel like I'm going it on my own, even if I have a man around the house, I'm sorry, it's stereotyped, but why am I always the one playing hardball, making negotiations, getting what's best for both of us? Why am I always playing the man? And even then I fail, I can't do it right, I end up caving and believing that people are good when really I should apparently distrust every word out of everyone's mouth.

But he trusts too. He trusts too much, and that's why we're both out of an extra four fucking fifty this month and I'm going to be in trouble for writing this but it's true. No follow-up for the both of us. We are hopeless. We deserve to be swindled out of every penny we have. I am ridiculous. I hate myself.