03.05.03 - 4:51 p.m.

This morning it was foggy and misty and even though normally I am averse to taking to the road under such conditions...today I felt like I could drive forever. Up the Palisades past Closter Dock Road, into Nyack, into New England, further into the green hills (even though they are probably dirty and snow-crap covered right now, in my driving fantasy they are green) all the way into Canada, never to return.

Instead, I dutifully put on my left turn signal and drove into the parking lot. I did manage to miss all three annoying potholes in the left lane, however. Hooray for small miracles.

The picture of Dan and I at Portofino is now framed at my desk. I love that picture. We're tan, we're in flip-flops, we're happy. Looking at is like remembering a good dream.

I drank the better part of a bottle of champagne last night in honor of my birthday. Thus, the evening ended with me saying a tad harshly to Dan, "Goddamn, don't you pay attention to ANYTHING?" because he washed the handtowel I'd just hung up to replace the drooled-on-for-a-month towel. Even though he did four or five loads of laundry last night and I didn't have to do any of them. Then I crawled into bed and was asleep in three minutes.

Let me state for the record one more time how much I love my long-suffering boyfriend. Not only for his random cleaning sprees and his patience with my moods, but for his patience with my father who calls him drunk from bars to taunt him about basketball. And give him misguided romantic advice like "Women like surprises." Um....I don't even know how to deal with that statement except to ask, do you know your own daughter at all? Wait, don't answer that. It is pointless to even try to figure out why and how my dad came up with these misconceptions. Brain would explode. Must not analyze fucked-up father/daughter relationship. Must. Fight. It. Auuuuughhhh.

(brain spontaneously combusts for the third time today)