01.13.04 - 3:08 p.m.

The Big Lebowski was on TV when I turned it on this morning (for my obligatory local on the 8s watch, only the channel was still set to Comedy Central from watching The Daily Show before bed). It was right at the moment where Brant is showing the Dude all of Mr. Lebowski's plaques and honors. "The Dude minds! This aggression will not stand!" Hee. I think I need to take a more Dude-like attitude toward my work. It might lower my risk of heart disease just a tad.

Today's showertime freakout thought: I think Leanne hates me. Seriously. She hasn't called me back since I briefly spoke to her while she was in Chicago with Beth. I called her THEN because she never returned the message I left for her over Christmas. Before that, I think we might have exchanged one email in between then and her birthday in October. Did I do something? Did I forget to send her a birthday card? I don't think I did. Shit.

Do I call her one more time? Or do I just send an email saying, "hey, I know we've gone a while without talking before, but this seems different. What's up? Did I do something, and if so, how can I make it better?"

I think I should email her. If it's nothing, she'll laugh at me and understand that this is coming from me, who's paranoid on a daily basis, and if it's something, I'd rather clear it up sooner than later. Because I barely have any friends as it is. Would be a shame to lose this one.