12.05.04 - 5:19 p.m.

Yesterday I thought I'd get my first in-depth glimpse of the ways of a Bridezilla by braving the Vera Wang sample sale. Sadly, I am no Bridezilla and therefore lack the stamina, planning and love of big white poofy dresses that brings most to the Penn Pavilion very early on a Saturday morning. No-one, apparently, goes to the sale to browse. No one but me and my very loyal compadre Kerry.

After both of us resolved our transit issues, Kerry and I met up at 8:45 am and made our way onto the line. This was the first Bridezilla no-no. Apparently women get up in the wee hours of the morning to be first into the sale. It didn't seem so bad, and at least we weren't forced to wait outdoors, but when we were ushered up an escalator after forty-five minutes of waiting and found yet ANOTHER Disney-style rope barrier line TWICE as long as the downstairs one, I realized how severely I had underestimated a woman's desire for THE DRESS.

Forty-five more minutes went by and we realized that we were getting hungry. And also that the line moved muuuch more slowly upstairs. We had probably only inched a quarter of the way through the upstairs ropes. It was at this point that I uttered the classic Casey line of "Fuck it" and we busted out of there empty-handed.

I called a few dressmakers I had a little time to research earlier in the week to initiate the plan I'd originally intended, which was to have someone make exactly what I wanted so I wouldn't have to deal with this shit. And to do it cheaply. And to have a dress I could wear again, an Audrey-style classic. By 5:00 pm, I had it.

This morning, I described everywhere I went to Dan, how I tromped from Penn Station to the UWS, back to Penn Station, down to the Flatiron, up on the 6 line to the UES, then back to the UWS, and finally to the LES. I couldn't believe the ground I covered in pursuit of this stupid thing, but he reminded me that I did get it out of the way in a single day and that I actually did it, it was worth it. I agreed:

"Mission accomplished, as the monkey would say."
"And then he'd keep shopping for dresses."

Dan, this is where you stop reading if you really don't want to know about the dress, even though I don't care if you know at all. Because I'm sure the ladies want to hear all about it.

Anyway. It's a v-neck tea-length dress with a slightly full A-line skirt, in champagne silk with a pewter lace overlay that will scallop at the neckline. It will be v-neck in front and back, with a deeper V in the back. Demure, yet sexy! Modern, yet vintage! It will match my Vera Wang shoes, which was my intention, because they're such a great offbeat color (anthracite is what it says on the box) and they have a smallish heel, so I won't tower over Dan all day. Let it be known that this is one of the few times in my life when I am NOT taking the opportunity to buy a new pair of shoes. Getting the damn dress custom-made is expensive enough. The dress will also eventually have an orange ribbon sash at my natural waist or maybe a little higher, but I want it to be a very specific creamy orange and I haven't picked out the exact color yet. Huzzah!