06.21.01 - 2:38 p.m.

The El line I take every morning stops right by Jason's old apartment. It didn't even register with me at first that Sedgwick was the stop I'd walk under, park under, listen to the automated voice go "This is Sedgwick. This is a Brown Line train to Downtown." I can see his green awning from the window and it STILL makes me angry. Why am I still angry? Because it would only take me 20 minutes to get to school from his house instead of 40 minutes from mine? No. And it makes me mad at myself because I can't control these feelings, that they involuntarily reveal themselves just when I'm starting to feel good again.

I'm back in my naughty spending patterns - the Andy Warhol dress at Banana, the orange beach chair from Crate and Barrel - but I swear once I get my bank statement I'll reconcile everything. I will stop eating out instead of cooking, I will not get coffee every morning and I will NOT keep walking uptown to buy clothes on my "way home." And now I'm not even researching my beat because who would I be if not a procrastinator, and instead doing my pathetic attempts at HTML and helping Nicole with her design project. It's such a dreary rainy Thursday of doom.

I was unpacking my pictures last night and realized everything I own has a little story to accompany it. This might be the one good thing about my compulsive spending - I always have tangible evidence of where I've been. I put the watercolor from the Piazza Navona above the phone, the Warhol frog that was a gift from Stuart in the kitchen, the loteria cards from Santa Fe and Dan's Chicago photo in my room, and the votives from New Orleans in the living room. Living with me is like living in the Casey Travel Museum.

As part of my new media class, we have to write a weekly weblog and post it to our site. I'm not sure what to write for it, since I don't think my typical stream-of -consciousness ramblings are appropriate for an actual graduate class. It's also odd to have two diaries/logs going at once, but there's no way I'm directing anyone here. Eh. Just seems like too much work to write something twice. Would it be wrong to just go home and eat Goldfish and watch State and Main all afternoon? Or would it be completely justified as the thing to do on a rainy day?