07.30.01 - 12:09 p.m.

Before I got mad about being doused in beer, before I got fed up with the whole scene, I did have some fun at the Taste of LIncoln last night. The fun mainly involved cover bands, one being a fratty happy type that played "Hash Pipe" and the other doing all the great metal hits of the 80s and 90s like "We're Not Gonna Take It" and "Round and Round." And this, my friends, gave me the most fun of the evening: watching all the little Lincoln Park post-yuppie chicks in their halters and platform sandals singing along to Poison's "Talk Dirty to Me." Fabulous.

But now I'm back to being grouchy with life again, and though it's not right, and as Dan says, "right now, I should be so happy that all these other little things can't change that," all these other little things ARE affecting me and I don't want to go back into my self-pity depression spiral that I do so well.

I don't know why I can't maintain my happiness, really, I have nothing to be that sad about - just the usual school blahs, more interested in figuring out what I'm going to do in September and getting the rest of my money out of the stupid Northwestern account that has it mixed in with my loans so they say I can't have it. Oh, but yes I can and you're going to give it to me. I don't want your stinkin' loans. You can keep all of them - just give me the cash, buster.

But I've now been up for 2 hours and the fog has not cleared from my head, and a whole plate of food didn't help, so I think I might be getting actually and physically sick. This, normally, would be no good, but if I can take a few days off from school, I could stand some aches and pains. I've always been a nerd - I've never really feigned sickness to get out of school and never hated work with such a passion that I couldn't muster up the strength to go. This is my first time at being a normal, sullen, average student and I kind of like it. I am a B student for once and I'm proud!

Oh yes. My new favorite song that I only have on a tape right now and I guess I'll have to suck it up and spend $15 for the CD. Happy- glad- sunshine in a bag. Woo!