08.05.01 - 9:30 p.m.

And they say no one updates on the weekends.

What does it mean when you start crying in the middle of a movie preview, just because they talk about fate and play a song? Do I read too much into things, am I too much of a believer, do I search for things that can just be chalked up to coincidence? I don't believe it can all be random, I want to believe that someone, something is telling me not to fuck up, not to let go this time.

And what people don't realize is that we never said one romantic word to each other before our meeting. Not one. God. The sheer weight of denial and tension on my end could have crushed a small animal. The fifty heart attacks I had on the plane, the "lies of omission," they were all worth it, just to have my feelings reciprocated in the end. Or the beginning, whatever.

And yeah, maybe pop culture says that guys should shy away from commitment and girls should be clingy and insecure, but pop culture also tells us there can be something that takes your breath away, that makes the rest of the world disappear.

I too often rush into things, too eager to look for something that's not there, but this time it's not like that. It's really here, and it's really right, and I shouldn't be afraid at all.