08.22.01 - 10:41 p.m.

"We should all be grateful that Brian Wilson is even functioning, much less enjoying this late-career high." - Rob Kemp, Rolling Stone

Well, the latest Google to find my site was for "hooters tank tops." Funny, since I just saw a Hooters waitress on her way to work as I joked that I couldn't even get a job there. Not as good as the person from Japan who found my site by Googling for "bikini cleavage" or something like that, though. Bringing boobs to the masses, that's me.

Anyway. On to more highbrow topics. This week, Ben Stein talks about Paul McCartney in his E! Online column. I have my own thoughts on the Beatles, which go something along the lines of how they must have been channeling otherwordly sources to make them so amazing and life-changing - and so effortlessly, it seems. All they did was write songs that made people happy and it's still enough to make them happy thirty years later. It was enough, it appeared, for them. But it's kind of nice to know even stars get starstruck every now and then.

Trying to write my paper on the solutions to suburbia or some other nonsensical alliterative topic is just not happening tonight. It's a good thing that I was able to read a 335-page book in five hours, but it's kind of tuckered me out (however similar that is to being mentally drained, I'm not sure) and I don't think I can put together cohesive sentences except for this drivel that spews directly from my mind to my fingertips and that for some masochistic reason I need to broadcast to the masses.

However, I did manage to score 10,540 points on the MTV quiz on MSN. I am truly a loser. I've watched the MTV Uncensored specials one too many times, I think.

But I can be loved for these things, though I'm not sure why, and I only have two more nights alone in my bed. I'm cleaning bathrooms for him. I'm vacuuming floors. I do all this stuff for myself but it means more when I do it for someone else. Sometimes I feel like Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding, saying "love me, choose me" even though I've done nothing to deserve it. Sometimes I am such a mean, vindictive, selfish person and you see through all that and love me anyway.

"I am simply trying to unlock the secrets of the universe for you, Carol." - Ed Stevens