08.28.01 - 10:22 p.m.

It's been a while, nearly a week, trying to put myself back into my life but without a routine. I don't even know where to begin, what I should be feeling, after taking a three-hour nap and overwhelming ambivalence taking over. Trying to be nice to someone who makes me completely uneasy, it will all be over soon and I just wish money wasn't involved. When money talks, I hate to listen, but lately it's been screaming in my ear.

I now have so many movies they don't fit side by side on my shelf.

The Backstreet Boys' tour, back on the road after A.J.'s rehab stint for alcoholism, is in fact sponsored by MGD Music.

My lips are chapped from too much kissing. "They look all, like, used. But in a good way," says Rayanne in the boiler room episode. Walking down Clark Street trying not to cry, failing, feeling the emptiness in the pit of my stomach and then losing myself in my work for three hours. And it doesn't matter what I'm doing next week and I'll probably fall asleep to Wonder Boys tonight but I am just tired, and not myself inside, and I still want to be sitting beside the fountain looking at the skyline or holding hands, laughing in the theater or just hanging out taking pictures of the 'dope shit, yo' face in my room.

Where have you been all my life? Not that I'm complaining, because you came along at just the right time, but it is all past coincidence and you're right. I don't even think about earlier in the summer anymore and it just seems a given that you are mine, and now I'm watching Simpsons as I type for you. It's the one where Homer meets his half-brother. You may never make me a hardcore ND fan but I will consent to a Simpsons ep every now and again. "Buttercup, you are HARD-CORE!"

Oh, just go read this. It is adorable and I hope I can write the same thing someday. Snoogans.