09.24.01 - 6:10 p.m.

This little Notepad fucker better not have built-in formatting. God, I miss SimpleText already.

Back in Johnstown and it's like it is every time, fitting into the weird family routine, feeling guilty for wanting to eat Cheez-its at three in the afternoon even though they're the only half-edible thing in the house. Dad the Coupon Addict bought frozen mussels in a box because they were two for the price of one. As if one box of frozen mussels provencale wasn't disgusting enough.

And I found six boxes of cereal stuck in the kegerator, just waiting for their chance to be eaten. I was trying to find our frosty beer mugs and when I asked Carol if they might be behind the cereal (pointing out the secret stash) she looked absolutely horrified. Apparently she had no clue Dad had been on a cereal-buying bender and it was all rather amusing. Instead of finding a stack of Playboys under the mattress, we discover my dad's compulsive grocery purchases. Hee!

Realizing that eventually all the shit I've been keeping here will have to come with me, I went on a cleaning binge. One large bag of t-shirts I've been saving since seventh grade (ah, nostalgia), the rest of Dad's old sweaters that don't seem so retro-cool anymore and TWO bags of shoes are heading off to Goodwill tomorrow. I get the cool armoire with the little British labels (pyjamas!) but it and the bed are going to be the only things that will fit in my new room. Wherever that will be.

So Kerry called me last night and said that her roommate was definitely leaving, just after I talked to Meghan and decided to go apartment-hunting with her. Damn. Damn! When it rains, it pours. And even though (once again) I'd have a big room with my own bathroom, a washer, dryer and dishwasher (and $75/month parking) at Kerry's, it's still so freakin' expensive. I don't want to make that phone call to the grandparents. I don't want to depend on others for the rest of my life. And I still kind of really want to live in the city, but who knows what kind of price tag that's going to come with? Roll with it, take it as it comes. I don't want to let Meghan down, though. We'll see.

If I don't get the fuck on Mediabistro tonight my guilt pangs will be enormous. I should just eat dinner now so I can watch Buffy at 7. Oh so superior to the movie.