03.22.02 - 11:28 a.m.

Honey, I want to change my life. I want to eat better, completely overhaul my diet, start going on hikes, make myself healthier, calmer. I want to take care of myself, feel better about myself. According to Emode's stupid attraction test, my best feature is maintenance, so I am going to be as well-maintained as possible. If I'm unhappy with my career, at least I can be happy personally.

So tonight I'm going to cook something good, give myself a mani and pedicure, and try to put myself in order. You in?

This is my idea - hire David, the best and truly competent intern, make him take over my spot in the front, and let me work in development or publicity. That way, Evan gets to work with two guys and I get to escape the front desk. Ah, if only it were that simple.

I started looking for jobs again yesterday - just sent out one letter, but I think it's ok to start slow. Maybe I'll get the courage to resend some cover letters cold soon, but why waste the time when there's still so little out there? It's hard, and I feel guilty doing it while being here, and I still wonder if there will be some greater opportunity for me if I can just stick it out. Then I think about 10-hour, low-pay days for three more years and I get very scared indeed.

Baby steps, Case. Call Janice on Monday, ask about recommendations and Roz. You can do it.