03.27.02 - 10:11 a.m.

I think this morning I figured out why Ben Folds Five never made it, not that I really ever wanted them to be as big as Britney or anything, but now I know why. They always released the silliest songs as singles - "Underground," "Battle of Who Could Care Less," "Army" - and while these songs are a big part of the BFF oeuvre and I love them all in their own little ways, I was always drawn to the 'prettier' songs. "Philosophy" was the very first one I ever heard, and I think the only one that can top it might be "Lullabye."

And as much as I hate to admit it, look at the huge response to "Brick." Wouldn't that be a sign of the direction they should have been going?

Now it's too late, and though I still love Ben on his own and though he gave Dan and I our song, it ain't the same without Robert and Darren. It was the combination of humor and beauty that made them so special - Ben seems too plaintive, too much like an unfinished demo without the other two.

And I KNOW they were going in different directions, both personally and creatively, but I still miss them. I'm allowed to do that. That's why I'm a fan.