08.02.02 - 4:54 p.m.

Is it a good thing that I have a 3.3% clickthrough rate on my first day of running banners? I don't know if I should be excited that my banner is so cute, worried that my writing is just not up to expectations, or not think at all because it'll probably drop to 0.1% soon enough.

Last night's conversation with my sister:

Me: "oh, I went to see Goldmember on Sunday."
Bassett: "How was Foxxx-ay Cleopatra?"
Me: "Meh... not bad, she ran around saying 'Shazam!' a lot and then Dan started saying it too."
Bassett: "Dan should be in a blaxploitation film!"
Me: (singing): "Who is the man, who is the man...DAN!"
Bassett: "And he could run around fighting crime in his bunny suit."

Then I had to tell my moom that one of her old friends/neighbors before the divorce, the one who used to hold an aerobics class in our basement, passed away from ovarian cancer on Wednesday. It's not like they kept in touch, and it's not like it was unexpected, but I felt like she needed to know just the same. I have a hard time dealing with death. Since no one that close to me has died, not yet, which is lucky since I'm 24 and, well, last September and all, it's more of a feeling of guilt than anything else.

The only real grief I think I've ever felt was for my cats.

Bassett, remember exploring the funeral home during Grandpa's viewing and finding - what was her name, Melba Something? - all laid out for the next day? And you made a noise, or I made a noise, and Chrissy thought it was coming from the body and she ran screaming down the hall?

I can't deal with death, I can't deal with weddings, I can't deal with babies. Therapy much?