08.07.02 - 4:23 p.m.

How am I supposed to maintain my policy of ruthless efficiency when I keep getting so much free stuff at work? The beauty department is cleaning out their closet in preparation for the Big Cubicle Switch, which can only spell danger for a Sephora junkie like me. Grand total of the past two days' haul: two Chanel Glossimers and nail polish in scary pinks and oranges, one Calvin Klein nude lipstick, one Rimmel lipstick in a very nice red and a Rimmel metallic nail polish, a bottle of Benetint, one mod pink Shiseido nail polish, two Smashbox powders (pressed and anti-shine), one Revlon Colorstay liquid liner, a Clarins cream bronzer compact, Benefit Lash Lovies purple mascara, one Origins lash volumizer and, finally, an Agnes B. concealer correcting kit.

And that's not even half of what I COULD have taken. I'm so generous.

Nothing interesting is happening. I'm writing a list of tips for Bassett's first college apartment (don't put anything in a public place if you remotely care about it) while simultaneously reading a book on feng shui chic. According to the book, I'm an Earth type and many of my best colors are variations on yellow or brown. Whaaaat? Oh, also, "a slave to fashion? Not you, earth woman." I don't think this book is to be trusted. And yet I read on.

But may I declare my love for John Allison as the Greatest Cutest British Cartoonist Evah? I am ever so enamored of my tea towel. I love the bats. They have dense fog and happy toothy grins. And I love them. And my cartoon sister. She has funny lips in some of the pictures. And it's like a big canvas poster and I don't know what to do with it! I can't very well use it to dry towels or any other sort of household chore. I must love it and save it as a reminder of my sister's rockstar coolness for being an actual cartoon character and excellent real-life waitress who fends off the 37-cent-tip-leaving Germans while taking care of my moomy who is also of German descent and thinks that crumbs are alive. The Huns!