11.26.02 - 2:33 p.m.

This morning, as I watched Today for probably the first time since we got cable, I saw a clip of Katie Couric interviewing Sharon Stone for her primetime Fabulous, Fantastic Women! special or whatever dopey name it really has. And Sharon's talking breathily about her "journey into the beyond" and you can see Katie trying so hard to look empathetic as she listens, but what's obviously going through her head is "You freaky, freaky woman!"

It didn't get much better as Katie attempted to talk to Olivia Harrison. This time it was Katie's turn to blather on and on about Olivia meeting George when she was JUST a SECRETARY at a record company, and fate, and destiny, and wasn't Olivia just blown away? And Olivia just sits there and calmly says, "Yes, he got pretty lucky, didn't he?" Oh, SNAP, Katie!

But finally Katie found her interview soulmate in Shania Twain. The Queen of American Cheese and the Queen of Canadian Cheese, chatting away happily. Aw, look, Katie's so relaxed! It's a happy, soft-focus puff piece on look how great Shania is even though she took that whopping year and a half off to secretly have a kid so no one would see how fat and unattractive pregnant people are! Those crazy Canadians! Sequestering their women - what will they come up with next?

It is going to snoooooow. Just in time for me to drive six hours for my winter tuneup. Oh irony, up yours!

And should I just start mailing a check directly to Kenneth Cole every month? My closet is starting to look like the shoe department at Macy's.