01.20.03 - 7:02 p.m.

Glory be. Dan finally gave me the one thing I've been asking for since we moved in together, and it is so beautiful I want to cry. I thought the day would never come, but I finally have a bright, shiny...headboard.

Yes! We have a headboard! No longer will my mondo pillow have to fill the crevasse between the mattress and the wall. No longer will I have to fish it out in the middle of the night, the pillowcase nearly singed from resting against the baseboard for hours.

And OK, it's not really bright and shiny, nor is it as beautiful as the thousand dollar Crate & Barrel headboard I've been coveting, but it works. It matches well enough. And most importantly, it's not cheap green metal bent to represent vines, like the one I've got in the spare room. And lordy, that's enough for me.

Now to find a new comforter....

I hate Adult Swim for putting the crap shows on first and leaving the Surrealist cartoons like Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Sealab 2021 for the midnight hours. And for taking Home Movies out of the rotation altogether. What is wrong with you people?

It is an all-pirate Super Bowl and I think I should make that the theme of our party, since otherwise it's pretty much the same chip-and-dip shindig we have every year. Everyone is now required to wear a bandanna, an eye patch, a hook or a wooden leg if they wish to attend the festivities. No parrots, please. And commentary while watching the game should consist of phrases like "Shiver me timbers, thar be an interception!" and "Arrrrr, matey, did you see that scurvy lad's shoe fly off?"

The evening will be ten times more enjoyable. And you better believe I'm going to serve Pirate's Booty.

Oh, I'm trading some movies like High Fidelity and Gorillaz videos on Swappingtons, so if you want them, go nuts!