01.29.03 - 6:14 p.m.

I have a theory that the left side of my body is gimpier than the right. It's always my left hand that gets speared by the knife when I'm cutting food in the morning, it's my left earlobe whose piercing is slowly stretching, and now there's my new friend Fred. He's a bunion that is forming at the big toe joint on my left foot. Good old Fred. I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of each other over the coming years.

Seriously, I feel like I'm way too young for this to be happening to me. Bunions are caused by ill-fitting and/or pointy shoes, and though I realize most women get them at some point, and that I have not been wearing Easy Spirits my whole life, COME ON! I am shoe obsessed! It's my thing, man! This is like being told I'm allergic to cheese, or that I can no longer wear the color orange. Dammit. Now I have to find a podiatrist. And be lectured on how my camel suede 3 1/2" stiletto heel boots probably aren't great office wear.

In other annoying news, we are rearranging the entire office this week. All the cubicle walls are coming down and they're shuffling our workspaces like a deck of cards. The high point is that I'll get a cubicle to myself when the move is through. (Read: I will be able to procrastinate like a mofo with no one looking over my shoulder.) The low point is that I have to organize all the common areas for the office. (Read: I have to pack boxes of books, cart them around, and generally do physical labor for most of the day.) Gah! I am a low-level magazine editor, not Joe Millionaire.

So that is why I'm tired, and why entries have been sparse and short. But I DID have the chance to write the words "lubricate the rod" in one of my how-to solutions blurbs today. Hee. Dirty!