04.05.04 - 9:50 p.m.

"If there's one thing in this life I'm sure about, it's my socks." -- Luke Danes

What is so wrong with my life that the cosmos decide to punish me by making me think I've lost my earrings every time I get rip-roaring drunk? It happened again on Friday, somewhere between leaving dinner and leaving the bar, somewhere on Monmouth Street after too much wine, one glass of Jameson and one beer (it was probably the one beer that sent me over the edge, but I'd been loudly bonding with women in the restroom even before that pint.)

I climbed oh so smoothly into the backseat of the Pontiac, touched my earlobes and realized both aquamarine Anthropologie danglers were missing. BOTH! How the fuck could that have happened? I held it in until we got back to the house and then burst into retching sobs that wouldn't stop for... well, a very long time. Dan can tell you exactly how long.

Wandering around Red Bank the next day, Dan suggested we walk back to the Dublin House to see if anyone had picked one up and left it at the bar. My recent purchase of a Paul Frank polo -- with a little embroidered Julius! -- had made me less hungover and depressed, so I acquiesced. Also, I'd just seen a necklace in a store window and thought buying it might ease my pain a little more. But as we walked past the parking spot we occupied the night before, Dan's magic eyes found one earring on the ground. A little bent, but still in one piece.

No luck at the bar. No luck in the boutique we thought someone might have brought it into if they found it on the sidewalk. So I bought the triple-strand rough-cut pineapple quartz necklace and felt a little better. I kept the solo earring, hoping I could recreate it the next time I stopped by Beads of Paradise.

Fast-forward to Sunday night. I'm shaking out my purse over the bed in preparation for the weekend-to-weekday bag switch. Guess what fell out? And how did it fall into my purse in the first place? That is some magic. So now they're unbent, repaired, safely back in my jewelry box. I'm buying clear backings for them. And I have a lovely new necklace anyway.

Oh, and I found one of my early resumes while backing up my computer data, just like my horoscope told me to do! The best part was the line at the bottom under the Personal section (which, by the way, speaks to this resume's age. Who needs a personal section unless you're trying to fill, fill, fill?) Anyway. My accomplishment: "Was on TRL once."

I highly doubt this resume was ever sent to anyone, but you never know.