1.24.01 - 10:30pm

I think if I got to meet/talk to/interview all my celebrity crushes, I would not have this celebrity crush problem anymore. This is a double-edged sword, my friends. So now Howie actually knows of my existence, but there is still no chance of him falling in love with me, as I could safely dream of in my alternate Howie universe. So what is better? Seeing 'em face to face (or phone to phone, as I have so far) or staying in my little dream world?

At least I can still dream about Ed Stevens of Stuckeyville. I love Ed. I LOVE ED! The best show, the cutest guy. Why can't I have an Ed of my own? He is so endearingly in love with Carol. Not too fond of ex-Melrose district attorney though.

Sometimes I feel like CJ from the West Wing, knowing all these random facts like the crops of Burkina Faso and not having anywhere to use this knowledge (apart from my kickass games of Trivial Pursuit). I feel like I am pretty much useless to normal society since I don't care about politics or saving the world or any of the normal, hardcore things people like journalists should care about. But then my friends make me feel good, because they need me to help them make Rice Krispie Treats and sew their Kermit the Frog dolls back together (actually, I don't know if I can do that one) and do artsy projects and teach them how to scan a picture. How can someone not know the recipe for Rice Krispie Treats? I used to make whole pans of them after school and eat the whole thing before mom got home. There's got to be a need somewhere for all the stupid stuff I know and love. Did you know moss sometimes grows on sloths because they move so slowly and infrequently? Did you know goldfish have a 3-minute memory? Did you know Edouard Manet's "Olympia," painted in 1863 - I think - was based on Titian's Venus? I know all this stuff. Does anyone even care?

This diary is supposed to be for me not to internalize my feelings but all I end up doing is talking about random stuff. I have no clue if that is a good or bad thing. It's like yoga, I feel good when I'm doing it, but about an hour later my neck is tense and there's a big knot between my shoulder blades again. I need another glass of wine.

I still kinda hope I can have a good time with Howie next Saturday.