02.21.01 - 9:35pm

Uhhhhh...not to sound like a generic mopey diary or anything, but I seriously think there is something wrong with me. It's not right to be scared every time you see your father's handwriting on a letter or hear his voice on your machine, to fear what's inside or not be able to listen. It's not right to completely blow off all your work and watch trash TV and read piles of magazines night after night. I can't even get happy about the fact that Abe let me be in the SPIN focus group or that I met a nice boy this weekend. I hate winter. I hate the fact that I live in such a crappy place that my window frame shrunk so now my window is open at the top and won't shut. And it's COLD.

I love the Beach Boys. I need to go to bed soon so I can get up at the ass-crack of dawn and make soul-sucking calls to publicists all morning. I'm sorry, I'll be in a better mood next week.